In today’s polarized world, it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of anger, frustration, and contempt—especially when discussing politics, social issues, and differing opinions. Contempt, when communicated through sarcasm, mocking, name-calling, and dehumanizing language, can destroy relationships and make it impossible to engage in healthy conversations. But what if we, as Christians, are called to something different? What if we are called to overcoming contempt and responding with compassion, humility, and love?

The Harm of not Overcoming Contempt

Contempt is a toxic emotion that tells others, “I’m better than you, and you are beneath me.” It’s often expressed through sarcasm, condescension, or even more subtle forms like eye-rolling or dismissive body language. When we communicate with contempt, we devalue the other person, rejecting their humanity and reinforcing division. Contempt is especially dangerous because it dehumanizes people, leading us to see them as morally inferior or unworthy of respect. In a political or social context, this mindset fosters hatred and intolerance.

Psychological studies reveal that contempt isn’t just emotionally damaging to others; it harms the person who feels contempt as well. According to the American Psychological Association, being treated with contempt can lead to feelings of rejection, anxiety, and depression. On the other hand, expressing contempt triggers stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which only intensify feelings of anger and frustration. Both sides of the equation—those who feel contempt and those who are the target of it—suffer deeply.

But as Christians, we are called to a different standard. We are directed to view others as better than ourselves and to love our neighbors, even when we disagree with them.

The Difference Between Contempt and Disagreement

It’s important to note that disagreeing with someone doesn’t mean we have to treat them with contempt. Disagreement is healthy—it’s a necessary part of personal and social growth. However, contempt twists disagreement into something personal and destructive.

The key difference is how we view the other person. When we disagree with someone but still hold them in high regard, we create space for dialogue and growth. But when we let contempt creep in, we begin to see the other person as an enemy, someone less than us, and we close ourselves off to any possibility of reconciliation or understanding.

The Danger of Disgust and Dehumanization

Beyond contempt lies a darker emotion: disgust. Disgust is not just a reaction to something we find unpleasant, like a bad smell or the taste of food we don’t like. It’s a deeply visceral reaction that can extend into our social lives, where we begin to view certain people or groups as “toxic” or “contaminated.”

Jonathan Haidt, a researcher on morality, asks an important question: Why does disgust, a physical reaction meant to protect us from harmful substances, extend to social groups? Why do we feel disgust toward people who are different from us—whether based on their race, religion, or sexual orientation? This is a dangerous development, as disgust can rapidly lead to dehumanization.

Dehumanization happens when we start viewing people as less than human, unworthy of the same respect and dignity we afford to ourselves. When we view others with disgust, we are more likely to marginalize them, to see them as “other,” and to justify cruelty toward them. This is a critical issue in today’s society, where ideological divides often lead to a deep sense of moral superiority and alienation.

Jesus’ Radical Love: A Call to Love Our Neighbors

As Christians, we are called to model our lives after Jesus, and His response to contempt and dehumanization was radically different. During His time on earth, Jesus encountered divisions between Jews and Samaritans, two groups who hated and looked down on one another. Jews viewed Samaritans as unclean and morally inferior, and the hatred was deep-rooted, stemming from both religious and political differences for over 500 years by the time Jesus came on the scene.

But Jesus broke these barriers. In John 4, He speaks to a Samaritan woman, breaking cultural norms and showing her kindness and respect. His disciples were shocked by this, but Jesus didn’t care about the social boundaries that divided them. He saw her as a person made in God’s image, deserving of love and dignity.

In another instance, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37), where He used a despised Samaritan as the hero of the story. To the Jewish audience, this was an oxymoron—no “good” Samaritan existed in their minds. But Jesus made it clear: to love our neighbor is not about loving those who are like us, but loving those who are different, who may even be our enemies. What people group would Jesus use today to share this message with us Christians?

Overcoming Contempt When It’s Hard

Loving those who are different from us is one of the most challenging aspects of the Christian faith. Jesus calls us to love those who make us uncomfortable, who hold opposing views, or who belong to groups we have been taught to despise. In a time of intense political division, this command is more relevant than ever.

Who are the “despised” groups for you? Is it the liberal politician, the conservative activist, the homeless person, or the immigrant? Maybe it’s someone who practices a different religion or someone whose lifestyle you disagree with. If you feel discomfort or repulsion toward any of these groups, it’s a sign that you may be holding onto contempt or disgust, feelings that are incompatible with the love Jesus calls us to offer.

“You cannot feel disgust or contempt towards any person or people, and be a Christian who loves their neighbor.”

Jesus’ love was not limited to those who were easy to love. He broke bread with tax collectors, lepers, sinners, and outcasts—people whom society had rejected. He didn’t just love them from a distance; He entered their lives and treated them with respect, compassion, and care.

In Matthew 9:10-13, Jesus’ actions were criticized by the religious elite. He dined with “sinners,” yet He defended His actions by saying,

“I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

Overcoming Contempt and Disgust

As followers of Jesus, we are called to reject contempt, disgust, and dehumanization. We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves, to seek reconciliation instead of division, and to value people not based on their beliefs or ideologies but on their inherent worth as children of God.

Overcoming contempt starts with humility. It’s about seeing the humanity in those we disagree with, choosing empathy over judgment, and seeking understanding rather than assuming the worst. It’s also about acknowledging our own biases and being willing to challenge them in light of Jesus’ example.

Books I Enjoyed on this Topic:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – Peter Scazzero
Atlas of the Heart – Brene Brown
(Amazon Affiliate Links)

Conclusion: A Call to Love Unconditionally

In a world that is increasingly divided, the call to love our neighbors is more important than ever. Loving others as Jesus loves us is not a suggestion—it is a command. And it’s not always easy. It requires us to let go of contempt, disgust, and hatred, and to embrace humility, compassion, and understanding.

So, the next time you feel the urge to respond with contempt toward someone who disagrees with you, remember the words of Jesus: love your neighbor as yourself. Seek to understand, to listen, and to love—especially those who make you uncomfortable. In doing so, we reflect the love of Christ and create a world that is more united and compassionate.

Ending Prayer

God, thank you for showing us the way through your son Jesus. That even with all the bad things we have done, you still choose to love us. Help us overcome our contempt and our disgust with love. Open our eyes to see all those you have put in our path that we have been avoiding and lead us to love them. Amen

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